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Oct. 21st, 2012 12:45 am
taelle: (siennes)
So I decided to update my interests in the DW profile. ... all right, I did update them, but looking at other people's interest lists, much more extensive and interesting than mine, I think that it's not even that I lack imagination, it's more like some deeply ingrained minimalism.

The first couple of years after LJ introduced tag system, I used it in a very peculiar way - as if there were a rule that you can't have more than maybe ten tags (as unspecific as possible, like "books") and preferably also a rule that you can't use more than one tag per entry so you'd better write so that you wouldn't need to.

That changed for the sake of convenience, but the interests are still as spare as possible - maybe because I can't see a reason for making them diverse? (also I have this peculiar tic of 'can I declare that I'm interested in writer A when I haven't read _all_ of her books?')

Also, my Takarazuka-specific LJ has precisely two interests listed - 'musicals' and 'takarazuka', even though I myself used to find likeminded fans to friend by searching for people who had particular actresses listed as their LJ interests. I am so logical.

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Oct. 1st, 2011 12:17 am
taelle: (Default)
Some dear people have this funny habit. They'd ask me 'What are you writing?', and when I say 'RPF about this and that' they reply with 'Oh, I can't read RPF, I don't like it/can't get into it/whatever'. ... I know you don't like RPF, okay? I've known you for several years and know you're not into it, and I'm not offering, so why? Or is it a clumsy way to say 'I'm sorry I won't be reading your fic'?

And I know why it's annoying to me - I am less and less able to bear repeats, circular arguments, being told things I was already told ten times. I think I'm getting less patient with age.

Anyway, I failed Ladies Big Bang, which is bad because unfinished things/failures depress me, but on the other hand I did get motivated to write at least some stuff, I just got too busy to finish it properly (and bogged down in the structure). I still hope to rework and finish it. And now I am wondering whether to try NaNoWriMo. I have an idea which I like (and some other people like it too), but I fail at plotting novel-length things. I fail at plotting in general, but I still want to try (and I also get annoyed at being told 'oh, if you're good at character studies and bad at plotting, leave the midi and maxi length alone and just write character sketches'. Maybe it's a childish reaction, but... Yeah, and as long as I'm speaking about it, it's also very annoying when you tell someone 'I started to do X which was interesting but had to leave it' and they tell you 'Maybe it's to the best, don't you think it was really not for you?')

Wow, I was going to write about writing, and suddenly I have a lot to say about being annoyed. Anyway, I was thinking that I'll try writing something every day in October, and then we'll see how it goes towards the end of October and whether I dare to try NaNoWriMo. And whether I can make a coherent outline out of my idea. I did once write a novella-sized thingie, even if I do not dare to reread it, so...

Also, I'm going to cross-post to LJ again, in case anyone there is reading, but I swtiched LJ commenting off, because I get a lot of comment spam there and not much else, and spam for comments depresses me a lot. Much more than no comments at all. So, commenting open only on DW (which should be possible through OpenID. I think)

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Sep. 30th, 2011 03:07 am
taelle: (sad)
I keep getting upset over stupidest things. Maybe I was wrong to want to learn to be emotional. Or maybe I am learning.

And my favourite iconmaker site is not working. The universe is clearly pushing me to deal with Photoshop. I need new icons.

My autumn is slowly getting back on track, though. I think. Today was sunny, a part of today was spent walking back and forth over one of my favourite places in the city (between post office which lacked pretty postcards, a bookshop that did have some postcards, and back to the post office), and there has been a lot of apples. There's going to be a lot of apples tomorrow, too: time to ponder on apple recipes (my mother started putting apples into vinaigrette, too). And we still have mushrooms.

Also, I have new candles, and the lavender one is lit right now.

* * *

Sep. 17th, 2011 04:10 am
taelle: (Default)
I think that going out for a couple of errands yesterday made me worse; I spent most of today coughing and sleeping. The possibility of going to Vyborg on Sunday, as we hoped to do, looks even more dubious than before. And my body is really tiresome about being ill; oh well, I hope I don't get a circular cold that I had some years ago - now _that_ almost got me hysterical.

And due to sleeping most of the day I am really behind with everything I had to do. Like, finishing the translation. Or finishing the cross-stitch present for the friend who comes to visit tomorrow. Oh well, hope she forgives me. She probably will, but I will still feel guilty. I am very good at feeling guilty.

So, my major feat for today was vacuuming my room. I have carpet floor and it's tiresome to vacuum, but I try to do it at least once a week - only last weekend I already felt ill, so this time it was extra dirty. But I did it!

Also, bought fanstaff online. Which made me feel better (some more nice things to wait for), but at the same time our postal services tend to make me anxious. And I hope to find no more tempting sales this month - planned buys are one thing, but when you see people selling stuff that was sold out long ago... Really very tempting.

And perhaps I should get some sleep. Or perhaps not - my friend should be here in about three hours.

And I need to find a new avatarmaker site - my old one doesn't work, and I am too bad at Photoshop to do things through it.

* * *

Sep. 14th, 2011 02:13 am
taelle: (Default)
I think I'm maybe getting better. Though not writing. And coughing a lot. And still not feeling up to vacuuming. But I worked some, and put some of my posters back on the walls and re-seated most of my teddy bears. And I am thinking about an electronic cleanup - getting my folders into order. That's not physically exhaustive, but it can be mentally exhaustive. Partly because I remember too well that such type of work does not count as work and should not take too much time. "What did you do today? - Put my computer folders into order" - doesn't sound productive. Even though I know too well that it does take time and it does make things more convenient and is therefore useful.

Not too much reading either - though some self-examining. Partly brought on by a community post about Honor Harrington and how she's awesome. I did not feel up to a discussion, and that community is not a proper place for this kind of discussion, but I did some thinking. I mean, I don't like HH, but what if I dislike her because she's a woman shown to be awesome, and therefore Mary-Sueish, and only male characters are allowed to be so? ... maybe I'm deluded, but I don't think I am. I think my main problem with HH is that she's told, not shown to be awesome. Maybe I would have loved her as a teenager, who knows, I was so eager for books about girls... (though perhaps she would have read too physically capable for me to self-identify with. There _were_ books about tomboys when I was little. Not too many books about just girls. I kept reading the early parts of War and Peace for that - because Natasha and Sonya were just girls, and had dolls and liked ice cream). As for Mary-Sueishness, the biggest Mary Sue in those books is not HH, it's the kingdom of Manticora itself.

But it does feel very incomfortable disliking female characters. I think my main problem with this is Cawti from Steven Brust's Taltos books - and while I do like many other female characters there, Cawti's the only human one, so it does feel kind of a step in the self-hating direction. But... I can't identify with her (not that I can identify with anyone there) and I can't like her, and, well... I dunno. Maybe I should reread with an eye to what makes me dislike her.

Also, about lack of energy - there's a pile of finished books on my desk and I should make a note of them in my 'books read' list and put them away, only I don't quite feel up to it.

Also, I don't like the 'no subject' heading but don't feel up to inventing titles for my entries. In my LJ I remember changing 'no subject' to '***' as a default option, only I can't find this setting here.

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